Helping vs Enabling: Whats the Difference?

If you state a consequence, it’s important to follow through. Not following through lets your loved one know nothing will happen when they keep doing the same thing. This can make it more likely they’ll continue to behave in the same way and keep taking advantage of your help. It also makes it harder for your loved one to ask for help, even if they know they need help to change. But after thinking about it, you may begin to worry about their reaction. You might decide it’s better just to ignore the behavior or hide your money.

Transitioning from Enabling to Helping

Financially enabling a loved one can have particularly damaging consequences if they struggle with addiction or alcohol misuse. We may think we’re helping someone by enabling them, but we need to understand that we’re only making the problem worse. Even though we might have the best of intentions, we need to recognize the harm we’re causing and take steps to break the cycle—for the person’s own good as well as our own. For example, enabling Is It Safe to Mix Alcohol With Lipitor behavior may include providing the school with an excuse so someone can skip class, even if they did because they spent the night drinking.

Risk Associated with Enabling Addicts

1. Only trained and licensed medical professionals can provide such services.
2. When you’re unable or refuse to maintain boundaries, it says to your loved one, “There are no consequences to your behavior, and addiction is welcome here.”
3. Enabling behaviors can often seem like helping behaviors.
4. In therapy, you can start identifying enabling behaviors and get support as you learn to help your loved one in healthier ways.
5. You may also find some relief through meditation, using apps such as Self-Help for Anxiety Management or Insight Timer, grounding techniques, or journaling.

Instead, it’s determined by your emotional connection to a person. The enabling version would be an adult who just ties the child’s shoelaces every time because they don’t want to deal with the frustrations and tantrums that arise in the learning process. Maybe you no longer confide in your best friend about paying your adult sons phone bill because you know that shell shake her head in judgment. The enabler is desperate to prevent one enormous crisis, but winds up experiencing a constant state of stress as he or she attempts to manage each smaller daily crisis.

Study results show that enabling can significantly impede recovery, making it harder for the addicted individual to recognize and accept the need for change. Understanding the myths surrounding enabling is a significant step toward fostering an environment conducive to recovery. It equips you with the knowledge to offer genuine support, paving the way for a healthier, substance-free future for your loved ones.

Signs You May Be Enabling Someone (Enabling Behaviors)

There is no one to hold the addict accountable, and this can result in riskier drug use and a harder impact on their health. To truly help an addict, you must learn how to stop being an enabler and learn to do things that prevent them from continuing their abuse and set them on the path towards recovery. For instance, this can be organizing drug or alcohol intervention. In addition, motivational interviewing can help an addict understand their inner motivation and make the first step into recovery. You can’t help someone if they’re afraid or ashamed to be honest with you. That doesn’t mean you condone their unhealthy behaviors; it simply means you acknowledge their intrinsic validity as a person.

Mental Health Services

This can take many forms, including paying a person’s rent or debt, lying to people about a loved one’s substance use, fixing their tickets or bailing them out of jail. It’s difficult to work through addiction or alcohol misuse alone. And if the problem is never discussed, they may be less likely to reach out for help. If your loved one is dealing with alcohol misuse, removing alcohol from your home can help keep it out of easy reach.

In addition to ending enabling behaviors, it is also important to encourage your loved one to get treatment. Rather than enabling their addiction, look for ways that you can offer assistance, support, and empowerment. For example, you might help them access treatment and recovery resources by offering to take them to the doctor or drive them to appointments. In order to stop enabling, you have to break through your denial. Denial is tricky because your reality seems completely real to you.