Inside the Secret Facebook Group Where Women Review Men They’ve Dated

There aren’t satisfying good single men in New York City. That’s the way it is. everyone says to us. When Deanna* moved to the city near the end of 2021, it was her turn to see if there was any truth to that assertion. Being single since her three-year boyfriend separated from her via Snapchat, Deanna joined Hinge and Tinder. It was around this time when a group on Facebook called Do You Dating The Same Guy NYC appeared as a suggested follow. The group included a strict prescreening process and community guidelines which served as a barrier to entry. It had 43,000 members strong. Deanna was intrigued, so she enrolled.

The community

The group was formed with the sole purpose of helping women check if their partners were seeing others – was founded in the month of March 2022. Every major US city currently has a similar forum and the rules for all are clear: Anyone is allowed to make posts anonymously, there’s no doxxing or releasing sensitive information and in no circumstance can screenshots be deleted from the group. There is no bullying, no victim blaming or hate speech. Do not tell someone that you’ve seen on the list. Following the scandal the scandal of West Elm Caleb, a man with whom many women from New York shared negative dating experiences and linked the dots on the internet, it was apparent that many women were searching to find a way to seek out people like him.by link https://datingfortodaysman.com/ website According to one TikTok user noted at the time This is why we need an app where we can leave reviews of guys we’ve dated on Hinge.

It’s a lot like what the group had turned into by the time Deanna joined. Every time a new version of Are We Dating the Same Guy serves as a gathering place for women who seek romantic advice or want to make a statement about the men with whom they’ve had a bad relationship experiences. Loyalty-testing long-term boyfriends-that is how they send other girls to make them feel attractive on social media is also a trend. It’s not difficult to go down a rabbit into a puddle of screenshots Hinge profiles, tales of failed hookups, and memes about the perils of modern dating. Many of the most popular posts include photos of men who have his first name, asking who has matched or dated the person of interest. Emojis with red flags are a common sight on seemingly unimportant but alarming posts warning the group of a former lover or bad night and are often accompanied by a downward arrow and the depressing wording See comments for more info.

The popularity of online dating has been a major factor in our lives in recent years, with one recent research finding that nearly 39 percent of heterosexual couples found their loved ones online. Therefore, it is only natural that the romantic aspect of romance will change in the digital age. Instead of chatting with a handful of friends in a bar, or sharing stories with coworkers, we are now seeking advice from 43,000 women who are going through similar and, in some cases precisely the same experiences.

It’s demystified this idea that dating is easier for some women than it is for others, says Ellie Another group member. Not to say that there’s not some advantages that exist however, it was helpful for me in terms of changing my notion of dating. It’s not about competing for women with each other, however it is holding men to a greater standard than I had before.

It’s obvious to me that some of the behavior which is promoted and facilitated through Are We the Dating the Same Guy could be cause for concern if exhibited by prospective suitors. Images, the details of private discussions, and screenshots posted without the other party’s consent or knowledge are numerous. People search social media profiles on a near daily basis. It doesn’t take long in order for a prospective date to be called hot. Although Deanna likes being a part of the group, she’s got a few reservations. Sometimes you see people posting ‘If he wanted to, he would’ about paying for things or picking you up in an Uber, she adds. But I’m sure you have to deal with the fact that it can become this echo chamber of men have been pushing us around for so long, now we’re willing to give it back.

We are still an patriarchal society

The world is still an oppressive society. Until we’re truly equal this online interaction will produce different outcome based on the individual’s background. But, can a group like this truly be conscious empowerment on one side of the coin, and morally reprehensible incel horror on the other? Are We All Dating the Same Guy? This is a hyperlocal and inter-personal-only for people who live and meet in the city the group is located in. The women, and the men they share their stories with could be your neighbor, coworker, friend, family member, or your most current Hinge match. Yet, there’s a sense of depersonalization that comes with operating on the internet, making it feel like it’s a game. It’s not far-fetched to argue that this can be considered as a snub to the dates involved in both of these groups. This is especially true when details of private interactions, conversations and even pictures are shared without approval or consent. Sometimes, it’s for the purpose of sheer entertainment.